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Date:2008-11-20 19:21
Subject:hmmm
Security:Public

Change is a tricky thing just when you think that your adjusted something makes you miss a past that is half forgotten and not at all far removed. Fitting in too well can be a curse, you forget about that past life quickly and when it hits you it comes like a phantom over your vision and you lose where you are and why your there. You then start to compare the two places and compare people and situations and loves and likes and you realize that it just doesn't translate. There is no comparing the two because you lost your sense of relevance and significance. Even the people and situations that are the same change and hold less meaning because they have been transplanted severing the roots where bonds are formed. You distance yourself from the things that remind you of home so that you don't have to remember them or compare them or judge them. Because the thing that you are judging is yourself, seeing if you have changed, or if you really didn't like your old friends as much as you thought. Are those e-mails filled with false flattery or have they not found anyone that they care for as much as you and the gang. People grow apart when they're in situations where they're meeting more people than they ever knew. Those familiar faces blend and change and look like that one girl on the fourth floor or that guy that lives down the hall. Rather than saying that they remind you of an old friend they now are that dear friend who sets you at ease when you need it.




So this is the third time that i've posted this. I first wrote it a little after coming to grand valley. The second time i believe was the middle of my second year. the second time that i posted this i felt pretty much the same way as when i wrote it.

I was going through some of my old posts just now looking at some of the poems and the odd/funny things i had written and was thinking that i haven't written or thought any thing that creative in a while.(more on this later(i remember when i used to do this (()) kind of thing in all my posts) shit i said later)

then i got to this old post and felt almost the exact opposite to what i had written and agreed with. I miss my friends in GR; I felt like i haven't quite met anyone out here that has come close to making me forget you guys. This admittedly had a lot to do with going back and reading all of these posts and remembering all of your smiling faces (people in cali don't have livejournal).

the one part that just kind of floored me from my old post was

You distance yourself from the things that remind you of home so that you don't have to remember them or compare them or judge them. Because the thing that you are judging is yourself, seeing if you have changed,

I think that i have been doing this and realize that i don't want to be distant from you all. I think that we had a good thing going. (part of the reason that i have chosen to post this/send this to you)

This may make it sound like i'm not having fun out here or that i'm not finding a lot of people that i like or can relate to. This isn't the case at all actually (I have my work friends i have school friends i have friends of less easily explained origins i have girl friends (a now ex-girlfriend(but were still friends)) i have guy friends i have my one close gay friend (always important) I have friends that i do sports with (surf, volley-ball, frolf, not as much soccer as i would like but i can work on that) etc.) but i don't have friends that have replaced you.

so i just wanted to say that i love you, and i miss you!

I would like for us to stay close friends even if we only see each other once a year or less even. You know that you are always welcome out here! we even have oceans here.


Back to my lack of creativity because i would like to field suggestions about it.
I have been keeping up with my indi music listening keeping my music library expanding(i have a sweet 16G ipod touch which i love to death.)
I have been reading increasingly clever, complex and hilarious (I wish hilarious started with a c) literature(thats right i called it literature because that's what it is).
I have a lot of free time in which to be creative if i so choose but i haven't really chose to do so.

I've been taking a lot of journalism classes (jour. major now) which has me writing a lot but in the least creative way possible. although i think there is something to be said for expressing something simply and I am being forced to improve my spelling with mother effing spelling tests(please don't point out the spelling mistakes i've made it won't make me happy at all).

well this turned out to be much longer than i had expected but i would love to hear from you.

-tim (some of my friends out here call me timmers which i think is funny(also i seemed to have thrown myself back into the whole (()) thing)

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Date:2008-06-03 00:17
Subject:
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I miss having friends that would check up on this thing. i mean i know i rarely use it and it has kind of gone out of style and whatnot but i miss the good old days of livejournal banter, as it is much different than that of facebook or myspace. but anyhoo i suppose i'm just checking to see if the all powerful internet is watching.

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Date:2008-04-11 03:07
Subject:oh my oh Pie!
Security:Public

adding a comma matters, it shows the difference between realizing our own permanence and a 'fuck off' to all you nerds.

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Date:2008-01-31 01:06
Subject:
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OBAMA!!!!!!

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Date:2007-11-30 17:09
Subject:
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the glass balanced upside down on my face
i use my breath to aide gravity in the delivery of drop on the side
this unfortunately results in the other drops coming down
oh the inconvenience of three dimensions
the agitation of water on my face erases any moisture gained

If global warming stopped today we would be thrown into an ice age
An additional affect of the pollution in the atmosphere is that it reflects the suns rays
this has resulted in a 30% reduction in solar energy since the end of WWII
this phenomenon is called global dimming
you can just google it for the full PBS special

one of the key events that led towards the discovery of global dimming was
september 11th
On the three days after when all flights were grounded the global temperature went up 1 degree C
the vapor trails that jets emit seem to be a major cause of solar reflection

scientists had thought that as global temperatures increased so would the rate of evaporation
like putting a pot on the oven
it turns out that solar power more directly affects evaporation rates
this means that even though the earth is getting warmer rainfall is expected drop

it is possible that global dimming has resulted in the deaths of millions of people in africa already due to drought


I wonder when the amount of money spent on trying to disprove global warming will equal the amount it would take to upgrade technology. based on all of the "green" campaigns that gas companies are launching that the market has spoken. ahhh but what is the political cost?


as we spin our wheels, turf is profit
the elegance of idealism cannot survive without the foil of oppression and ignorance
real or imagined

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Date:2007-09-28 23:29
Subject:
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So I bought a Bonsai Tree today from the guy that sells them on the side of the road. I just thought that the internet should know.


Also, Freedom for Myanmar!

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Date:2007-07-05 14:34
Subject:
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There are some additional perks to being in california. Rx headling tour with fall of troy and Maps and Atlases I can't wait.

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Date:2007-06-20 02:07
Subject:
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new car
new hair
new job




also flight of the conchords is the greatest fuckin show of all time.

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Date:2007-05-31 21:16
Subject:
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movies
-Brick
-The Chumscrubber
-The Machineist
music
-Dan Deacon
-Panda Bear
-The Apples in Stereo (fun trick noisemaker, not the new one)
-The Dear Hunter (new one and old one both)
-Cornelius
-Beulah
Books
-short stories by Faulkner
-Dying of the Light George R. R. Martin
TV
-The Tudors (showtime)

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Date:2007-05-27 01:08
Subject:
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my guitar is in mourning
for it has no strings
will it see another morning?
we'll see what the night brings

trading lakes for ocean shore
you can tell by the rhythm of the sands
a need to find new friends, just another chore
would someone like to hold hands?

for the light goes down in the west
which means for every song sung
the ocean eats the sun's breast
i suppose the notes will land where they're flung

My guitar is in mourning
for it has no strings
will it see another morning?
we'll see if the night sings


this is my response to william blake's introduction of songs of innocence
p.s. despite what the poem suggests i'm in quite high spirits, if a little bored.

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Date:2007-05-27 00:37
Subject:
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moving, moved, books, more books, white walls (hate em), up the hill even better view, brick (not the house) i have all the movie channels now, loads new music, william blake (gotta keep the mind sharp), fog.
all for now.

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Date:2007-05-09 00:07
Subject:
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sunburn.
also, people here are great.
"I'm a black man in America. Of course i know everything!"

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Date:2007-05-06 23:32
Subject:
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cali

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Date:2007-04-10 21:19
Subject:
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gossip whores,
please note:
if you don't have something nice to say please don't say anything.
-tim

p.s. i hope you get a kick out of this.

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Date:2007-04-01 16:06
Subject:
Security:Public

http://www.ucsb.edu/

I think that i could learn to live with this.

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Date:2007-03-21 01:09
Subject:AG
Security:Public

Father owned the dating bar so mother ran the store
We all lived there together with the army at the door
No one to do my laundry or to tell me that they're sure
But there really is no me and there's no army at the door

I hustle my way to your bedside
I ride on your body like a cab ride
I carry refreshments to the good guys
I made the good guys some home fries

Pardon me anyone where is the nearest shore
We're all in this together and the police are at the door
Someone do my laundry or smash me through the floor
To the tropical vacation buried underneath the store

And I was your favorite bullfighter
Whose looks were new to your eyes
And i fell apart in that bullfight
Where the dress was the sky to your thighs

She said that she had an hour
Her father he was in the shower
And she took me to her little tower
And she showed me her little flower

And just when i thought it was safe to put down my pen
She said maybe i will let you fall in love with me again
Maybe i will let you fall for loving me again
Then she showed me her badge and i think she said then

That i don't have the heart to tell you not to come
And everyone has hands just to use someone
And it makes me feel just like old gum
To ride a fake horse into town
To ride a lame horse into town
To ride a dead horse into town
To ride your big f*cking fake f*cking lame f*cking dead horse into town

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Date:2007-03-13 14:36
Subject:
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oh also recently our cell phone companies have released our numbers to telemarketers. They got a shit load of money to do this and also we get charged for the calls that we receive.
Call 888-382-1222 FROM YOUR CELL PHONE to register it on the national Do Not Call list. It will block your number for five years. You must call from your cell phone.
I got this from my Aunt who works for a consumers rights group. thought that i would pass it along.

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Date:2007-03-13 13:48
Subject:I'm going going going back to cali cali cali
Security:Public

well i feel that most of you know that I will be in california for the summer. many of you have expressed interest in comming out and visiting which i will encourage fer sure. perhaps now is a good time to talk amoungst yourselves to see if you would like to accompany each other. cause it'd be totally radical dude! I will be working (hopefully) so oyu may have to entertain yourselves for part of the time while your here but it's cali brah you can do it. also i hope to secure a surf board and what not so fun may be had by all. grand valley also has found out that my parents no longer live in michigan so i now have to decide where i will be making my residence for the fall. the cost of school here would be about 15 thousand more a year (compared to cali), which means more student loans. I haven't yet decided what i'll do but i am leaning towards going to cali. i do have to decide before the summer because i need to figure out what to do with all my stuff. anyhoo, Of Montreal thursday in chicago!!! super excited. well i guess that's all i have to say... boo!

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Date:2007-03-06 13:38
Subject:
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I climb the steps
To tell the sun
But the words disagree

The system is broken
Only eight up there
Gears grind, planets disappear

I’ve paid my taxes
My expectations are high
I’ll be let down

The flames burn fierce
The water rises up
The ground crushes me

Rain rain go away
Come again another day
Pour it on later

All things go downhill
Enjoy your high ground
It won't last long

In the face of
The great golden king
I spit and retire

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Date:2007-03-03 00:34
Subject:
Security:Public

the internet is really getting to me today
with nothing to do and nothing new to say
the internet is really getting to me today

If my life is a cup i feel i've overflown
and ended up with less, chipped away at my bone
and i hope that i won't look at this pain and just say that i have grown

the internet is really getting to me today
fuck all the little games we play
the internet is really getting to me today

tv won't work
just think about all the times i was a jerk
to the glow of my screen in the dark i lurk

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